Of course, anyone who knows me may chuckle at the  thought of me writing about grilling safety tips. After all, I’ve done everything except exploding in a ball of flame (which I  almost accomplished one late summer day).

Nonetheless, I feel it’s my duty to remind you of a few safety tips. Today, I’ll cover charcoal use.

• Starter chimney’s are, in my opinion, the best way to start your charcoal. This method eliminates lighter fluid and uses paper instead. Keep an oven mitt handy when handling the chimney unless you think a palm brand looks cool. Another starter chimney plus: you lose the petroleum taint on your food.
• If you want to use charcoal lighter fluid, don’t spray said fluid on hot coals, smoldering coals, or a flame. If you do, you may hear a whoosh boom sound right before you lose your eyebrows, arm hair, and sport a stylish flame cut. Been there, done that.
• You don’t need a bonfire to cook. While big fires look pretty, your food cooks too fast and arrives at charcoal stage before you utter, “Yummo”. By the way, your pets and local fire department will appreciate your restraint.
• Move the grill away from the house, preferably off the wooden deck. Seems pretty common sense, doesn’t it?  Yet, you’ll read about grill related house fires from now until fall.  One more thing. Don’t fire up a grill indoors. You don’t want your epitaph to read “Lived by the grill, died by carbon monoxide”.
• After moving the grill away from the house, make sure it’s not sitting in a high traffic area. Hot grills and cornhole tournaments don’t mix.
• Establish a kid free zone. Teach children about hot grills by showing them your various grill scars.
• No need to be macho man when grilling. Screaming in pain and dropping the food will make you feel downright silly. Use hot pads or insulated gloves. Your fingers will thank you.
• Consuming alcohol may impair your ability to stop, drop, and roll. I’m just saying.

Later this week, we’ll cover gas grill safety.